Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
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