Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I want a musical about memes.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
