Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
