ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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