We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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