in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
