nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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