he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
