did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
