He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
