I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
