Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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