you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
