her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
