I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize