More tranny stories later!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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