the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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