now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she told me i tasted like america
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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