I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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