Dual....:-)
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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