I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
please come you make the beer taste better
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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