It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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