What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
