I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
