White coat. Heels.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
