the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Randomize
