I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
