one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
