So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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