Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize