Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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