do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
