Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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