And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
