# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
