actually, I'm a sock model
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
