Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
