So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
