i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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