i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
