so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
