ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
