I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
