u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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