i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
