So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
