i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
