There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize