Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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