Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
her facebook's as public as her vagina
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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