it wasn't lemon gatorade
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
