I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
