is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
