Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
