I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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