So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
