Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
