What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
